Top 25 Funniest Facebook Statuses and Quotes

Welcome to the top 25 funniest facebook quotes and statuses. On this site you will find the best of the best one liners, quotes, sayings and statuses. You can also use these as your facebook status if you wish. There are now billions of facebook users from all over the world who use facebook on a daily basis. The top 25 funniest facebook quotes and statuses is a compilation of quotes and statuses from all over the facebook world. Enjoy.

1. Heaven wont have me and hell is afraid that I will take over.
2. The severity of the itch is proportional to the ability to reach the itch.
3. I swear that my pillow must be a hair stylist because I wake up every morning with the weirdest hair dos.
4. Crap happens but why must I always step in it.
5. I asked my girlfriend what kind of books does she like and she replies "Checkbooks".
6. The irony of a social network is that the majority of its users are alone.
7. That light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
8. Every time I get on the computer for something I always end up on facebook.
9. Getting back with your Ex is the same as getting out of the shower and putting the same dirty clothes back on.
10. Its now how you pick your nose but its where you put the booger.
11. Being in good health just means that it is going to take you longer to die.
12. Its not that you build patience as you get older, you just dont give a crap anymore.
13. I am not crazy, I just got tired of being normal
14. So much to do and so little motivation to do it with.
15. If people are two faced, does that mean that I can slap them twice?
16. Your never to old to learn something stupid.
17. What do you call a dead blonde under the porch? Last years hide and go seeks winner.
18. She/He is as useless as a blind guy on a nudist beach.
19. I am not stubborn, I am just persistent.
20. Warning: I have watched enough CSI episodes to learn how to dispose of you without getting caught.
21. How does a blind person know when he is done wiping?
22. Everyone has a right to be stupid every once in a while but you are abusing your privileges.
23. I have been fired by Pepsi. I tested positive for Coke.
24. Congratulations, you have just wasted fifteen seconds of your life by reading my useless status.
25. Do you ever walk into a room and forgot what you went in there for?

These funniest facebook quotes and statuses are in no particular order. They are just considered 25 of facebooks funniest quotes and statuses.